


i was looking for a breath of life

by littletrenchcoatangel



Series: Breathe easy, baby. [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon-Compliant, M/M, Pre-Slash, i don't even know okay just read it and try not to cry at the horrible everything, i guess i mean i don't know, mostly it follows the canon stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-20 23:19:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/590801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littletrenchcoatangel/pseuds/littletrenchcoatangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>after half an hour derek wishes he could will some of his weight away, just to make it easier</p>
            </blockquote>





	i was looking for a breath of life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> I watched a video and then I had an idea. Just... y'know, in general, about the thoughts Derek had when he was in the pool. Although I kinda strayed from that idea pretty quickly. Like I usually do. But... enjoy.
> 
> For Lauren because she's my aussiebro. And I felt like dedicating this to your horrible-feels-inducing headcanon creating ass. :)

when stiles first mentions the cut on his neck he thinks ‘oh crap’ and ‘we’re dead’ and ‘stiles run’, but then there are shoulders under his arm and a firm grip on his waist and he is not going to die

(he’s spent his whole life running and now he can’t walk)

he stumbles along beside stiles and can feel them slowly falling to the side and then it’s - ‘stiles’ and he’s drowning and he is going to die

(he’s drowning and it isn’t anyone’s fault but his)

he wants to blame stiles, begs his brain to let him but he can’t. he turned his back on the kanima, he tried to save stiles when he knew all along that he wasn’t stiles’ alpha, stiles wasn’t going to listen and now he is going to die

(he tells him to run every time, but stiles is always the reason he survives)

he cannot move and in the shock of being dropped he opens his mouth. he can survive longer than a human underwater but he cannot keep the air in. he cannot keep the air in and he is going to die

(fate has a terrible sense of humour)

somewhere in his mind he knows stiles will not let him die here in this pool - he pulled him from the kanima and he wouldn’t do that just to drop him now - then he’s being dragged to the surface again and it’s nothing, just a feeling that comes back every time his head dips under the water. stiles has pulled him to the surface and he is not going to die

(“you need me to survive” (i need you now more than ever))

stiles will not let him drown, stiles will not let him die. stiles will not let him sink. but then he does. he drops derek and swims towards his phone and derek is drowning. derek is going to die.

(laura would scream if she saw the way he closes his eyes and gives in)

his family burned to death in the basement of a house and he is going to drown in the pool he has avoided since it happened. he was in it when his family died and he’ll be in it now when he dies. someone, somewhere (his brother, probably) is laughing at the cyclical tendencies that fate has in regards to derek’s life. (laura is crying and screaming for him to fight it)

but then stiles is back, stiles is not letting him drown. derek is not going to die.

(each time he dips low, stiles shifts him higher than before. after half an hour derek wishes he could will some of his weight away, just to make it easier)

two hours and stiles begins to move again, towards the edge. the kanima will catch them there but stiles is too tired to care, derek is too guilty to mention it. stiles will not let him slip, stiles will not let him drown. stiles cannot hold the bar and they both fall beneath the surface. derek and stiles are going to die.

(he cannot move much more than his fingers and toes but with a little push off the wall of the pool he can get his knees under stiles and try and force him to the surface)

derek is going to die in this pool. stiles would not let him slip, stiles would not let him drown, but stiles is not a miracle worker and it was out of his control. stiles would not let him sink and now he is going to die too

(each moment affords a minute tip in the balance. derek cannot breathe but he can push his knees a little higher so that stiles might)

scott’s arrival shocks them both and once derek has a single breath he is looking at stiles to make sure he is getting one too. derek is alive and stiles is not going to die

(his first move when he has control is to drag himself up and in front of stiles. stiles will not die because derek cannot control his legs. stiles will not die.)

the betrayal in his voice stings like the claw did against his neck and derek feels the guilt well up inside him. the guilt transfers to stiles when he makes himself more clear. derek meets his eyes and there is a question there he does not want to answer but he nods anyway because he has no other choice. they are both alive and derek is not going to lie

(the question is ‘do you trust me’ and the answer has, honestly, always been yes)

he leaves with his beta, a threat on his tongue. derek and stiles are alive, barely, and now the kanima is going to die.

**Author's Note:**

> Derek was swimming when the hunters killed his family. Or, at least, that's what you'll need to believe to understand this story. Kinda. I guess.
> 
> I don't even know, really, I just kinda went 'derek is thinking about things while he's drowning' and this was the result.
> 
> That title is strangely fitting. At least for part of this. Heh.
> 
> ~part of a series that will be updated irregularly featuring interactions between our loveable duo and their thoughts during them. some will be canon, some will not be, some will confuse you to a point of rewatching the whole series going 'where the hell does that even fit in?'~


End file.
